Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Dillon Day is an Asshole

SDSMississippi State center Dillon Day stomped on two different LSU players. First, Day stomped on Davon Godchaux’s stomach, and then he jumped on Rashard Robinson’s groin, taking him out of the game. He was suspended for half a game last year for stomping a player in the Auburn game. Dillon Day also received an unsportsmanlike penalty later in the game for a late hit after a dead ball.

Hey Dillon Day, get the hell out of my sport. First you stomp all over defenseless players like it's Truth University:

Then you talk trash about it like you're proud of what a dirtbag you are:

Then you try to defend yourself with a physics lesson that you were classy enough to screen shot for us:

Get this crap out of my face. You don't get to play the "it was an accident card" when you've done it THREE times and you bragged about it on Twitter after the win. You're a disgrace to the game, a disgrace to your school, a disgrace to the SEC, and a disgrace to every dude with long hair and tattoos who can't get a job because bosses assume he's as big of an asshat as you are.

Dan Mullen: suspend this piece of shit.

UPDATE: Gotcha, bitch. He's suspended for the Texas A&M game.

Meyer on Coaching Florida: "I Thought I Was Dying"

Ohio State coach Urban Meyer will appear on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel tonight on HBO to discuss the personal and physical issues that drove him out of Gainesville a few years ago. Among other lowlights, Meyer confirmed that he lost 37 pounds over the course of a season, was relying on beer and Ambien to sleep at night, repeatedly thought he was having heart attacks, and left the team's locker room celebration after winning the 2009 National Championship Game to immediately begin recruiting, finally leaving the Gators because he "thought (he) was dying," and "was mentally broke."

Jeez. I have NO IDEA why anybody would want to coach college football, especially after watching this preview:

Real Sports airs tonight at 10PM.

Nothing to See Here...Just a US Senator Throwing Down With Kegstanding LSU Fans

NOLA.com - U.S. Sen. Mary Landrieu created quite a stir with national political reporters when she helped a guy do a keg stand at a tailgate party before LSU took on Mississippi State SaturdayFor those who don't know, a keg stand involves hoisting someone in the air -- in this case a purple-Polo-wearing LSU fan -- and putting the running spigot from a beer keg directly in his mouth. The idea is for the person to drink as much beer as possible, while being essentially upside down. It's a common practice on college campuses, especially at house parties and tailgates.

Hey, thanks for that explanation NOLA.com, I've never been 22 or met/talked to a single fun person in my life so I had no idea what you meant by "kegstand." Some hard hitting journalism right there.

You've got my vote, Mary. 

(H/T @flynnbw)

Video of the Day

We've already given you our Top 10 Recap and Service Academy Round-Up, so let's put a bow on Week 4 with a highlight package from our parent company.

Full Disclosure: It's pretty much ALL Oklahoma at West Virginia, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Monday, September 22, 2014

DC's Top 10 Recap: Week 4

The Noles live another day, the Tide roll, the Mountaineers and Sooners score ALL the points and the Tigers fall in Death Valley...let's take a look back on the first great weekend of college football in 2014 with our Top 10 Recap.

1. FLORIDA STATE (Beat Clemson 23-17): The entire Florida State community better be in church today lighting candles and thanking whatever they believe in that they played Clemson Saturday night, because only Clemson could've Clemsoned like that. Just ask The Washington Post:

The Noles got mauled on the line of scrimmage all night, couldn't run the ball, couldn't stop a true freshman QB and couldn't protect the football. You could watch that game film 100 times but I don't think you'd ever be able to understand how they walked out of The Doak undefeated. I sure as hell can't figure it out.

For what it's worth, I could've done without 70 shots of Jameis Winston on the sideline, but the instant that Jimbo Fisher told him he couldn't dress for the game while he was suspended was one of my favorite moments in TV history:

JUST PERFECT. Winston bugging out as if he didn't know what "suspended" meant. Jimbo incredulously shaking his head and silently counting the seconds until Winston can go pro. Fowler narrating the whole thing like it's the Zapruder Film. Just fantastic television all around. Bravo, ABC. 

2. OREGON (Beat Washington State 38-31): How the hell did THAT happen? No, seriously, I have no idea because this game was on at like 2:00 in the morning (remember that when Mariota doesn't win the Heisman, Pac-12 fans). Marcus still put on a show for all the Heisman voters who ran out of Ambien, throwing for 329 yards and 5 TDs to hold off a pesky Cougars squad in Pullman. Weird stat alert: the Ducks and Wazzu combined for exactly 1,000 yards of offense, putting up 501 and 499 yards, respectively. Can't say we've ever seen that before.

3. ALABAMA (Beat Florida 42-21): The Alabama coaching staff wasn't thrilled with a relatively sloppy Tide performance that included four turnovers, but when you put up the most yardage (645) ever surrendered by a Gators defense you tend to get away with it. Blake Sims threw for 445 yards, the second most in Tide history, and 4 TDs as Alabama finally pulled away in the fourth quarter. The Tide defense emasculated Jeff Driskel, who finished 9 of 28 for 93 yards and 2 picks.

4. OKLAHOMA (Beat West Virginia 45-33): Well that was fun. It's hard to believe this game ended with that score, because it felt like it was about 105-103 midway through the second quarter. There were trick plays, 100-yard kickoff returns, and bombs getting thrown all over the place as the Sooners and Mountaineers put on a show, but Oklahoma had the horses to pull away in Morgantown, outscoring the home team 21-9 in the second half. Samaje Perine ran for 242 yards and 4 TDs, while Trevor Knight threw for 205 yards and caught a TD pass.

5. AUBURN (Beat Kansas State 20-14): If Florida State was the luckiest team in the Top 10 to escape with a win then Auburn is a close second (hey, the Tigers finishing a close second to FSU...it's just like the 2013 season!). Kansas State played the best defensive game I've ever seen against a Gus Malzahn Auburn team, and if their receivers could catch balls that hit them directly in the hands or their kicker could hit the side of a barn he was standing in they would've given the biggest crowd in Wildcats history a thrilling win. Instead Auburn put on their 2013 "cat with nine lives" routine and escaped Manhattan undefeated thanks to Nick Marshall's arm.

Service Academy Round-Up

WAKE FOREST 24, ARMY 21: Army battled all day in Winston-Salem, but their offense was blanked in the second half as Wake Forest earned a come from behind win over the Black Knights. The ground game did its part, racking up 341 yards, but back breaking fumbles in the third and fourth quarter thwarted their two best scoring chances down the stretch. Army hasn't beaten an ACC opponent since topping Duke in 2010. Also...not a great look for a future Army officer:

Clean it up, fellas. 

RUTGERS 31, NAVY 24: The Scarlet Knights continued their recent "dominance" over the Mids, running their record against Annapolis to 8-2 in this century. Navy's option offense gained 402 yards, but the Rutgers ground game was the story of the day, racking up 284 rushing yards (and 435 total). Rutgers also dominated time of possession, beating Navy at their own game and running their record to 3-1. Keenan Reynolds threw for 231 yards (after throwing for only 50 all season) and a TD in the loss.

#24 HAMPTON-SYDNEY 56, COAST GUARD 0: Coast Guard's Secretaries' Cup hangover reared its head 1:38 into the game and lasted all afternoon as the Bears were blasted by Tigers in Virginia, getting blanked 14-0 in each quarter. Nash Nance completed 21 of 33 passes for 240 yards and 3 TDs, while Mitch Pereira and Craige Sprouse each added 2 TDs on the ground. The Bears threw for 160 yards with three different QBs and start conference play with Nichols next Saturday.

MERCHANT MARINE 34, SUNY-MARITIME 17: VICTORY!!! Kings Point saved the U.S. Government from an embarrassing 0-for with a dominant win over local rival SUNY-Maritime, exploding out of the gate for 31 first half points. The Mariners ground game rolled for 359 rushing yards without a single player breaking 100, putting on a clinic in assignment, balanced, option football. A 17-point third quarter was too little, too late for Maritime, as they dropped to 1-2 on the season. Kings Point (2-1) travels to #11 Hobart next Saturday.

AIR FORCE: Did Not Play.


Nearly four years to the day after their last win, the Tufts Jumbos topped Hamilton 24-17 Saturday, ending a 31-game losing streak and planting themselves in a tie for first place in the NESCAC.

Drink it in, Somerville:

Congrats, Jumbos.